Consider the baguette.

Or rather, consider the tartine de baguette, a popular breakfast item in which a piece of baguette — preferably fresh and bought moments before, still warm, from the corner boulangerie, but if nobody really feels up to going out before breakfast day-old baguette will do fine, “freshened up” on top of the toaster — is sliced in two, each half spread with your choice of butter and/or jam and/or honey (the combination of butter and jam and honey is unheard of but might be worth a try).

Now, let me stress the important part of that last paragraph: sliced in two. Therein lies my problem. See, the two sides of the baguette were not created equal.

On the top side we have the crust, goldie blond (not for nothing do the French say blond comme les blés, blond as wheat), optionally dusted with flour, ravishing to the tastebuds and texturally diverse, with crunchy peaks and soft creases. In one word: delectable.

On the underside, we have the lesser twin, the one that’s always been less bright and less attractive, the one the parents have always sworn they loved just the same, with just a little too much insistence. That side of the baguette is flat, and it draws its colors in shades of beige and grey. It is drier and harder — if you’re not careful it will scrape the roof of your mouth — and if the bread is a bit too cooked (even though you asked for une baguette pas trop cuite), it will have a slightly charred taste.

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The first day of May in France is La Fête du Travail (Labor Day). It is a holiday, which is nice, except when it’s a Sunday and then you feel slighted. Anyway.

May 1 is also La Fête du Muguet, and the tradition is to give the ones you love a little bouquet of lily-of-the-valley, for good luck and to celebrate the arrival of spring. Originally the idea was to take the kids into the forest and lose them pick your own muguet together. Of course, in the city you will more likely buy it from the florist’s, or better yet, from one of the countless stands that sprout up overnight on every street corner and every road in France, most of them doing this as a fundraiser for one cause or another. Some years you really feel sorry for them, sitting in the cold and rain and hardly selling anything, but this year they are in luck, as the last couple of days have been a fabulous sneak preview of summer, all bright skies and super-warm temps.

On another note, the new issue of the New York Times “T” magazine comes out today, and includes a piece I have written for them about cook-dating, a new cooking-class-cum-dating-service that has been invented here in Paris. The article is called Love at first bite and it is available online (second piece from the top).

On a Saturday morning, you go to the pool for your weekly swim. As you come out, limbs pleasantly weary and hair still wet, you reflect that it would be nice to buy a baguette for lunch. So, instead of making a right and walking directly home — you are fortunate enough to live just a block from a clean and quiet swimming-pool — you go left and make a detour by the boulangerie to buy a warm and crusty Renaissance baguette (their signature traditional baguette).

As you walk back up the street, you pass the fish stall, and the thought pops: bulots! That will be great for lunch.

Bulots — also called buccin, ran, coucou or cuter still, calicoco — are whelks, those pretty snail-like shellfish that you eat cooked, after delicately removing the little opening cap and pulling the chewy body out, optionally using a special metal pick. In Paris they can be purchased, already cooked, from any poissonnerie — and each fish stall cooks them to its own recipe. Relatively cheap, super nutritious (they are full of vitamins and minerals) but more importantly, delightfully tasty and fun to eat.

You step in to enquire whether they have any, and the poissonnier says yes — in fact he has just finished cooking the daily batch and they are still warm. You buy a generous portion for two that he gets from the back.

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[Smoked Herring and Broccoli Parmentier]

In France, we get pretty much the same télé-réalité shows as everywhere else in the Western world — yet another perk of globalization — but I don’t often watch them, as I find most either really boring or really painful to watch.

However, I have somehow let myself get sucked into the current show called La Nouvelle Star — the French rendition of American Idol — in which successive selections lead to the discovery of the best new singing talent. I can’t explain how this happened, really, but Stéfan, Patricia (my dear neighbor-friends) and I have developped an inexplicable interest in the competition, turning this weekly event into an occasion to share a casual dinner and dish about the candidates, the judges and various other topics, nouvelle-star-related or not.

This little Thursday night ritual is usually conducted at their place — I wouldn’t want to impose this upon Maxence, who cannot understand what in the world has gotten into us — and Stéphan does most of the cooking, with his usual talent. But he was out of town last week, so I told Patricia that I would gladly be the interim chef for our nouvelle-star viewing, and I made us this Herring and Broccoli Parmentier, the inspiration for which came to me during my metro ride home.

Parmentier, or hachis parmentier, is a traditional French dish of ground meat (usually beef, sometimes a mix of beef and pork) topped with mashed potatoes and oven-baked. It is named in honor of Antoine Parmentier, the 18th century agronome we have to thank for promoting the potato as a vegetable fit for human consumption. Depending on whom you talk to, hachis parmentier is either a blissful comfort food or a horrid school cafeteria memory. It is considered very humble fare and is mostly reserved to home cooking or very basic restaurants — it is a notorious way to use up leftover meat — but you can occasionally see it featured on fancier restaurant menus as a twist on the classic recipe, using a more noble kind of meat or even fish. (For a little more on the history of the dish, let me point you to my recipe for Duck Confit Parmentier on the Bonjour Paris website.)

This Parmentier variation — admittedly getting further and further from the original concept, but I’m sure Antoine won’t mind — substitutes smoked herring (a.k.a. kipper) for the meat and broccoli for the potatoes. I love smoked herring and the intense flavor it lends to a dish, but it can easily be overpowering: here the mashed broccoli provides a light blanket that complements and tones it down.

But sadly, Francine got kicked out. She was my favorite. I am utterly disconsolate.

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